Exit Wounds

Finally got Mail up and running. I know I got berated by my other Mac using friends for never having successfully set up Mail, but I didn't need to since I knew the clemson.edu e-mail would expire in due time. Anyways, they've made it even EASIER since the last time I tried to set it up. Yay!

Spent all day listening to Adele, The Script, and Flight of the Conchords. A nice mix of being depressed to stifling uproarious laughter. It's really tiring to play the same script over five days a week. The old, "How are you? Good." Rinse, repeat x 2342378474857394845347 times.

This weekend was fantastic. My Clemson friends finally came to my apartment! I don't know what they thought about all the little figurines, but I expect to be adding to the collection by the end of September.

Oh, I had such motivation to write in this, but now I seem to have lost it.

Perfect Shots

Lately I've been thinking about photography. I know I'm not the best photographer, and I admit to having never really worked at it. I enjoy taking pictures, but I haven't really used my camera for anything in almost a year. It's a combination of forgetfulness and the desire to fully immerse myself in the moment. Too many times have I missed the best part of an event because I was looking through a lens.

Yet today, I sat in my car and listened to the rain in silence. It was a summer shower and the patterns the raindrops on the window were making were so random, yet beautiful. My mind immediately wondered how difficult it would be to get a perfect closeup from behind the windshield. It was strange, but it goes along with the flow of thoughts that have been running through my mind as of late.

A thought slammed into me while I was standing in between the multitude of soft drinks and liquid tea in Ingles. Someday when I look back at my life, I might just think twenty-two was one of my favorite years. I know I've been living by myself for a year plus some months now, but the self-reliance has really sunk in. Yet, I feel like I'm being extremely lazy compared to other twenty-two year olds. I have a full-time job, but I'm not doing anything to professionally better myself, am I? Maybe I am. I know I shouldn't compare myself to other people; the only real competition I have is my former self.

Things seem to have slowly fallen into place and balanced themselves for the moment. It's strange to not have any real stress or drama. It's unnerving to find there aren't any huge problems or logistics to solve. Even more so, it's odd to feel so loose and happy.

My co-worker was talking about his vacation last week. He said he wasn't aware of the time of day during most of it. I wish I could identify with the experience.

Podcasts

I've been exploring the iTunes store recently; it probably has something to do with recently purchasing a shiny new iPod nano for my dad. Being kind of bored with no one to talk to or meow at might also have contributed.

Ok, rewind for a minute. I've had an iPod for the past five years, and not once have I explored the iTunes store. Why would I want to pay for one song where the only thing I get out of it is a few megabytes of data that might be lost should my computer ever decide to corrupt itself? Plus, I really like getting CDs. I just got a few, and it really saddens me to see the lack of good cover art these days. All that aside, I've started listening to Podcasts. I was fine with just listening to music at work, but let's face it, it's been over a year. I need something else to listen to, to break up the monotony of the 8-10 hour cubicle warfare. Every time I turn the TV on to catch the news, it's always showing missing children or something I have very little interest in.

I tried audiobooks, but I still hate it when people read to me. I just can't get involved with an audiobook. I can't curl up on the couch and let my imagination run wild while I absorb the words off the page. The motivation and curiosity to turn the page is just missing when I'm listening to someone else read. It's like getting trapped in a one way conversation where the other person just drones on and on about some story. Of course, not all audiobooks are bad. I know there are some very well done ones, but I still like the idea of reading a book myself.

Podcasts allow me to listen to funny and interesting stories while I crank out forms in InDesign or work through crazy customer supplied PDFs. It's been quite enjoyable so far. Unfortunately, I can't stop perusing the iTunes store for cool podcasts. I've already filled up quite a bit of space on it. I can barely manage to hit the 3 gig mark with the music I have collected in five years. Three days and I'm already up to 15 gigs because I added so many podcasts!

Life's just funny, isn't it?

To make it even better, I found the Animenation podcast. Yes! I might have found another source to keep up with the times. Which is what I really need since I haven't found a real replacement for NTUSA. That will always been the number one magazine in my heart.

Stumble On

Compliments of Stumble:

Road Rage

Lazy Summer Days

It's around 9pm on the first Saturday in June. I've been in Greenville since last night, and I've done nothing but relax. Went out and spent a few hours at Mr. K's this morning (by myself). There was some great stuff to be found! I bought a set of radio drama CDs from the Golden Era of radio. Can't wait to listen to them.

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I'm returning at 2:00AM after dinner and a movie. We rented Black Swan. That was not what I expected at all. Granted, I only wanted to borrow the movie because there was so much hype surrounding it for a while. Had absolutely no idea what it was about beyond the synopsis on the back of the DVD case. It was a really good movie, but it left a lot of things up for interpretation.

I've decided to take all the frustration I'm feeling with myself and channel it into something that might be kind if useful. Maybe I really just need a new hobby to think about. I know by doing multiple things at once, I can never perfect anything, but maybe that's ok. The only constant is my desire to get better in Adobe Creative Suite. Yet, slugging through tutorials seems rather unappealing.

I have to re-cycle through a series of things or else I get bored. There are a variety of things that will never seriously fall back into the cycle, but maybe I will revisit them from time to time. Or...maybe I just need to revisit the things I did when I was younger, more creative, and ambitious.

Either way, I've decided to take up sewing again. So, I got my very own sewing machine today. I've used my mom's all my life, then I moved and discovered that having a sewing machine around is actually very handy. I've recently had to do all my alterations and quick fixes by hand. A machine will at least make fixing the hem on my pants easier and cleaner. Plus, this is my sewing machine. It's similar to my mom's but with a few new features that I'm really excited about exploring them. Time to put that scrap material sitting in my drawer to use.

Bought a new pattern on a whim. It'll be fun!

Strut

It's a quiet Tuesday night. There aren't any TV shows on, so I watched Volume 2 of Welcome to the NHK. That was pretty good. Very cute. I'm starting to like Misaki (main girl character) a lot more.

This past weekend was a lot of fun. I went camping AND whitewater rafting for the first time. Hurray! Stepped out of the comfort zone and managed to come out mostly unscathed. I did kind of bruise my knee on a rock when we splashed around in the lake on Saturday evening. At one point we had a campfire and we were all eating cobbler and looking at the stars, attempting to pull out whatever astrology knowledge any of us had. I never realized how bright the stars actually are. I always felt like it was something they emphasized in movies to stress how romantic or calm the scene is. Now that I've seen it for myself, I can understand why.

Sitting out there reminded me of a story I heard at the Rocky Mountain Science Center when I was younger. Something about the animals getting together after a blanket covered the sun. They tried to throw things and come up with ideas to get rid of the blanket, but one little bird decided to try flying straight through and he poked holes in it to let in the little bits of light we now know as stars. Does anyone else remember hearing that?

I spent my first three day holiday of the year having fun. On Monday, Matthew and I walked around some random antique shops in Dillard; then we paid a visit to Goats on the Roof and had ice cream. I had vanilla bean ice cream on a cone. It's been so long since I've done that. As I got older I started getting a scoop of ice cream in a cup with a spoon. Racing the heat to lick the ice cream off the cone almost made me feel like a little kid again.

While I do still get excited when the ice cream truck goes by under the window at the apartment complex, I haven't gone down and bought any. For some reason the memory of a blue bugs bunny ice cream bar really sticks out. I got that all over my dad's old car.

And now, it's time for sleep. Hehe.

Creatively Blocked

I can't come up with any ideas for the poster contest at work. I sketch, doodle, draw, and stare at a blank piece of paper, but I just don't like anything I've come up with. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

This was a good weekend. Went to the drive-in on Saturday night to see POTC4 and Thor. Got hit in the forehead with a frisbee. It didn't hurt so much as it surprised me. I couldn't stop laughing.

I forgot how nice it was to just swing back and forth through the air.

Hey Mr. DJ, let the music take me underground.

How long do you think it takes to fall in love?

According to Someday's Dreamers it's 2.5 episodes.

This show is turning out to be mediocre. They've got a weird blend of 2D and 3D animation going on whenever a mage uses their power. The characters are also turning out to have predictable backstories and feelings.

I guess it's ok to watch something like this once in a while. Honestly, I got the first volume from Netflix and thought it was going to be a six episode series following the lives of individual women. Then I popped it into the DVD player and realized I was thinking of Diamond Daydreams.


PS: Now I really want to watch 5 cm Per Second

I'm kinda hungry, but I don't feel like getting up yet. It's the kind of feeling you get when you know you're about to feel something, but the impact hasn't come.

So, I just discovered in the past ten minutes through facebook that two more of my friends have gotten married or engaged. It's getting kind of weird to think of all these people in long-term (hopefully everlasting) relationships. Especially since I can remember when one of them was crazy about another guy several years ago. They were practically inseparable for a while. Now she's married to someone else. Of course, I haven't talked to her in several years, nor do I really foresee talking to her again anytime soon. How times have changed.

Not to mention that fact it's kind of creepy to find stuff like that out on Bookface because they posted pictures of it. Hurray for social media?

Perhaps it's just this stage of life, but almost everyone I've had an acquaintance with in high school or college is getting married. If they're not getting married, then they're actively looking for a relationship (or at least complaining about having trouble finding one). It's weird enough to think about friends who are my age or a little younger with families already. Kid(s). A permanent connection to another human being. Weird.

Did I mess up somewhere? I listen to stories about dating and such, but I look back and realize there's not much I can add to the conversation that's not depressing. Or really, there's not much I can add to the conversation at all. I can't empathize with a lot of emotions. Nor do I want to tell stories about what I've seen or done.

Someone said they've known me for several years now, but there are still times when I reveal an interest that surprises them. Am I really that hard to "get to know?" I know I'm not open about a lot of things and I seem to have forgotten how to show mediocre interest. It's always either extreme dislike or excitement. Small talk has always been a terribly weak point, unless I am already very good friends with that person. I just feel like you should have a purpose in a conversation.

I don't really know where this entry is going. Just blogging out loud, I guess. It started with finding out about my friends getting married. Then I started thinking about how some people are always drifting from one relationship to another. It's possible some of these thoughts stem from Nana. Is everyone supposed to drift? If so, then I seriously messed that one up too. From listening to other people's stories, it doesn't sound like there is an instruction manual for any of this. How unfortunate.

I think I found what I want for the next gift giving holiday or whatever.

The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over the Lazy Dog

It's been a sort of long night, at least I don't have a splitting headache. ^_^

I finished Bones season 5 tonight. Man, what a cliffhanger ending. Watching Glee from episode one via Netflix. I miss when they had good music and cliche high school drama.